In The Darkest Of Times
by Book girl fan
Summary: In dark times, Remus is losing hope. Sometimes, you need a friend to turn on the light. Set during OotP.


"Remus?"

Remus struggled his way out of the darkness, the voices around him gradually getting stronger as light crept its way back into his mind. He tried to open his eyelids to see where the light was coming from, but they wouldn't open, too heavy to be moved.

"Moony, you need to wake up. Harry's getting worried."

Harry? A vision of a baby came to him, followed by the image of a teenage boy with glasses and messy black hair. He clung to it, savouring the point of familiarity. He knew that boy.

"It's been two days, Remus. You need to wake up." Quieter. "I didn't remember how awful this was for you."

That voice was familiar too. It felt like a friend, warm with care and worry, but with an unfamiliar note he couldn't place. "Padfoot?" he tried to ask, but it came out slurred, hardly more than a sigh of air.

A breath drew in quickly. He could feel something a strange sensation in his fingers, something he gradually realised was a hand tightening around his. "Remus? Moony, are you awake?"

He tried to move, squeeze back that hand that was grasped so tightly around his, but all he could manage was a weak curling of his fingers.

"Moony!" That, it seemed, was enough. "Come on, Moony! I know you're awake now! You've no idea how quiet it's been with you up here. I need you to entertain me!"

He'd know that plaintive tone anywhere. "Sirius?" he tried again. It came out mumbled, but at least it was a sound.

"Yes, Moony. It's me." Sirius' voice was softer, no longer filled with the frantic energy it had had a moment earlier. "Can you open your eyes?"

He tried, but they were still too heavy, leaden down with weights that would not release him. "T'red," he mumbled, lips barely even willing to move.

"I know, I know how exhausted you must be, and how much everything hurts, but if you don't open your eyes soon I think Mrs Weasley is going to try insisting that you go to St Mungo's."

His free hand flailed weakly, an instinctive horror rising. Sirius' hand captured his, laying it gently back at his side. "I won't let her, Moony. But it would be easier if you would just open your eyes and look at me."

Spurred on by this declaration, he tried once more to open his eyes. This time, his eyelids lifted just a sliver, just enough for light to stream in and nearly blind him. He flinched away, squeezing his eyes tightly shut again.

"Sorry! Sorry, Remus." There was a hasty fluttering of quick movements beside his bed, then Sirius's hand settled around his again. "I've turned the light down now. Try again?"

Reluctantly, he did. This time, his eyes opened more easily, and after blinking a few times, he could focus well enough to see Sirius' smile beside him.

"H'llo," he rasped, and began to cough.

With a quick "Aguamenti," Sirius filled a glass, then slid a hand behind his head to lift him so he could drink it.

Remus gulped the water down thirstily. His throat felt like he'd been swallowing nothing but sandpaper for weeks, even though he knew he couldn't have been out of it for more than a few days. At least he thought it had only been a few days. Sirius had said two days, right? His breathing grew rapid as he was suddenly overcome with panic. What if he had misheard, and had actually been out of commission for weeks? It had only happened three times before, and each time had taken him closer to death than the one before. If it really had happened again, how many more times could he stand such a change before he simply didn't survive it?

"Remus! Moony, whatever you're thinking, you're wrong." Sirius had lowered him back down to the bed, and was now running frantic fingers down the side of his face. "Calm down, or you're going to stress yourself back into unconsciousness."

"Doesn't – sound too bad – right now," Remus panted. Despite that, the repetitive motion of Sirius' fingers was calming him down, making it feel less like he had a Devil's Snare wrapped around his throat.

"It's too boring when you're asleep, though. Stay awake for me Moony, please?" Despite the tone of affected pouting, Remus could hear the real worry behind the request.

Remus struggled to open his eyes again, looking up at Sirius with a small smile. "I'll try."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence. Even after all their years apart, and everything that had happened between them before that, they had managed to regain that ability to sit together without a word needing to be said between them. It had started in Hogwarts, all the times Sirius would come down to the hospital wing and sit with him during those nights after a transformation. All of them had done it one time or another, sometimes coming in pairs or as a whole group, but none so often as Sirius.

Of course, after they'd graduated, he, Sirius, and James had moved in together, Peter choosing to live with his mother to keep her company as his sisters had all left and formed families of their own. Soon enough, James had asked Lily to marry him, and the two of them had found their own place in Godric's Hollow, and it was just Remus and Sirius left.

Rather like now, actually. James, Lily, both gone, along with all he wanted to remember of the boy Peter had been. It was once again just him and Sirius, sharing a house, fighting a war, so much older but with so little changed.

Remus slumped back against the pillows, suddenly tired. Were they ever going to escape this endless cycle?

"What are you thinking about, Moony?" Sirius' quiet voice came from beside him.

"I'm just tired, Padfoot." He sighed deeply. "Tired of war, and fighting."

"You're supposed to be the optimist, Moony." Sirius' hand crept back around his, holding tight.

He sighed again. "I don't think I can right now."

Sirius' hand left his, and he felt oddly bereft. Then he heard the small movements of bare feet against thick carpet, and the bed beside him dipped as someone's weight settled onto it. He turned his head on the pillow and opened his eyes. Sirius stared back at him, gaze bright with mischievousness. "You looked lonely, Moony."

Remus wriggled over slightly, just enough to feel the warmth of Sirius' body against his side. "And you thought you'd better join me?"

Sirius hummed agreement. "Someone needs to be optimistic about things, and if you can't manage it..." His voice trailed off.

Remus couldn't hold back his smile. Somehow, having his hope for a better future be kept alive by Sirius, who often still seemed stuck in the past, meant the world to him right now - even more than having Sirius curled in bed beside him like they used to do back in school. Those days had long since passed into memory, but it was enough to remind him of a time when they had been young and invincible, a reminder he sorely needed. Right now the world felt big and cold and empty, but at least with Sirius beside him, he would never again have to be alone.


End file.
